Looking for a saccharine and smutty Christmas romcom to satisfy your holiday sweet tooth? I’ve scoured the depths of Amazon’s offerings in search of quality sci-fi Christmas reads, and I think I’ve found you guys one of the most hallmarky and… er… most heavily frosted sci-fi Christmas romances out there.
Like many popular alien romcoms, Alien Orc for Christmas is a simple romance with a predictable, low-stakes plot. But we’re looking for Hallmark here, not Dickens. This novella is well-written and cleanly-edited with likeable characters, cute moments, and a couple of detailed spicy scenes–just the thing to get your mind off the state of the world and into the warm and cozy holiday spirit.
The Story
Growing up on a dreary industrial planet, Maggie’s warmest and most colourful moments were spent baking with her grandmother. That’s why she’s combining the small inheritance her grandma left her plus her hard-earned savings to start a new life on the prospering Elora Station, where she’s rented retail space to open a bakery.
It’s a big job, but Archie, the handsome alien Orc who owns the pub next door, volunteers to help. It’s clear Archie’s interested in being more than just Maggie’s neighbour. But he respects Maggie’s business savvy too much to stand between her and her dream, and swears he will not woo her until the bakery’s successful opening.
Can Maggie and Archie keep their hands off of each other and on their work preparing the shop, or will lust keep Maggie from opening in time for Christmas?
What I Liked
In the world of alien romance, our FMC, Maggie, is a star character. I’m getting bored of FMC’s who seem ready to throw out all their own hopes and dreams the minute they get a chance to marry a hot alien dude and have his babies, or worse, FMC’s who never had any hopes or dreams to begin with. I love that Maggie has plans for her life, and a backstory that makes those plans compelling.
I was so fully invested in Maggie’s dream that I felt the butterflies and last-minute doubts right along with her the night before her grand opening, and had to keep reading late just to make sure it turned out alright.
Archie is a fun character, too. He’s full of swagger and pomp, but in a comedic and endearing way. He’s a smooth talker and a flirt, but his intentions are earnest. These contrasts turn him from a potential Gaston type into an attractive and funny MMC readers will root for. I loved seeing Archie work alongside Maggie to support her in achieving her dream.
The Romance
So, the first 75% of this story is pretty much a chaste Hallmark Christmas Special, and then the last 25% is explicit sex. For some readers, this is going to feel like a great payoff, and for others it’s going to feel a little unbalanced.
Personally, I liked getting some story before jumping straight into the spice.
The sex scenes themselves are a little on the raunchy side for my taste, though. Archie’s prolific jizzstorms ruin Maggie’s outfit to the point that she has to change and he has to mop the floor in one scene, and they render her couch in need of replacement in another. Personally, I rather have a few details left to the imagination, particularly when it comes to the cum.
That being said, this is only a matter of personal preference. I KNOW a ton of you out there are going to love the sex scenes in this book because I’ve seen so many requests on facebook and reddit asking specifically for books with MMC’s who can ejaculate multiple times during one session (Archie can do three), and MMC’s who produce copious amounts of semen (boy, does he).
Ladies on the prowl for frosting. Archie is your man.
Bonus Section: Thoughts from Mister Amy
Last night I was telling my husband (autistic dude and self proclaimed disliker of romance) about this story. Making a case for why it’s actually super cute and not as cringey as he might imagine, I described how Archie supported Maggie while not standing in the way of her dream, how he stayed up all night carving her a handmade sign for her grand opening, and yes, how he jizzed all over her couch and valiantly offered to buy her a new one.
To my surprise, my romance-hating husband actually started nodding along.
“I get that,” he said. “Being understood, having someone who will body double you without distracting you when you’re hyperfocused, clear and understandable romantic advances like ‘pebble gifting.’ It’s a neurodivergent person’s fantasy.”
I found that interesting. I’ve heard before that alien romance readers are disproportionately neurodivergent, and maybe that’s part of the reason why.
“Also,” he said, grinning. “Neurodivergent people tend toward extremes when it comes to sex, either not interested, or ALL THE JIZZ.”
Overall Thoughts
As a reader who prefers more complex space opera style plots over alien romcoms, Ursa Dax stands out to me for producing an alien romance that doesn’t bore. She does a great job of creating stories that, while sticking to genre expectations for simple prose, high-spice, and low stakes, still draw me in with interesting characters and fun bits of plot and worldbuilding.
Alien Orc for Christmas made me smile and laugh and root for the main characters. I recommend this book to sci-fi romance readers looking for a cute holiday read, especially if you’re not opposed to the idea of getting absolutely drenched in orcish icing.
Maybe Mr. Amy is right, too, this might be your perfect Christmas read if you’re a neurospicy reader who fantasizes about being loved and supported in all your hyper-focused glory.
Your husband has it spot on! I love that he could see all of that just from a summary. Ursa knows how to hit all the alien romance buttons just right. I’m not big on xmas stories but I may well give this one a read. Cake is always better with icing, after all 🤭
He’s epically good at pattern recognition. And, yes, this cakes are very well frosted hehe